Be well, be healthy.

Let’s mess with Google and indulge a little in my 90/10 rule, shall we?

You’re certainly welcome to comment and debate (or agree) with me but I feel I’m duty bound to shout from the highest mountain top (or blog, as the case may be) my idea of the perfect martini.

It was said that Winston Churchill’s idea of a perfect martini was drinking a glass of cold gin while looking at a bottle of vermouth from across the room. Although that would certainly make for a very dry drink – a martini it was not!

A “perfect” martini is one with equal parts gin and vermouth. Personally, I see nothing perfect about such a bastardization.

No, to me, the perfect retro hipster drink is a combination of ingredients, preparation, and a little something extra. I’m inspired to write about my martini as I sit here and sip one – so you’ll pardon any poetic liberty I take because I do believe it makes a difference. I rarely drink but when I do my martini is certainly at the top of my list of choices to indulge in.

* Start with chipped ice. Cubes are okay but chipped is better. Shaved ice is not permitted – it dilutes too much and gets too cold. Chill a martini glass with ice before beginning. A martini glass is best because A) this is a martini and B) you need that stem to hold on to so the heat from your hand doesn’t warm the drink too fast. Then, fill a Boston shaker with ice about half way. Give it a moment for the shaker to chill as well as a hint of melting to begin.

* Dry or Extra Dry Italian or French Gin. I have a thing for Tribuno. Splash about 1/4 oz. across the ice in the Boston shaker. Give it plenty of time to reach the bottom – it needs to tumble across the ice to chill. Yes, you can shake it on the way down if you do so lovingly. This is where a little Frank Sinatra playing in the background helps. I recommend “Fly Me To The Moon” on vinyl. Let’s not use an MP3 at a moment like this, okay?

* Now, and this is important, strain out as much vermouth as you can by quickly turning the shaker over (either crack the halves or use a strainer) for a 2-count. That’s it. Count “One one-thousand, Two one-thousand” and then flip the shaker back up. Whatever vermouth is left tumbling back down the ice is what’s going to be left in the drink. If you do this while listening to the above listed song you’ll have a perfect 2-count.

* Gin. I prefer Gordon’s London Dry because, well, aw, you know. However, in a pinch Sir Robert Burnett’s Distilled London Dry (green bottle) will do. You will, again, splash 2 1/2 oz. of this across the ice in the Boston shaker. Give it enough time to waterfall down to meet the gin at the bottom recovering from the 2-count. Do this all with unchilled gin. You’re keeping your gin in the refrigerator? What on Earth are you thinking? It’ll be far too cold to help the ice melt the bit that it needs to. Keep your gin on the shelf of your bar – not in the cooler.

If all goes well, Frank has already played among the stars and is holding hands and getting that first kiss.

Now, I can already hear some of you bellowing about the gin and saying something completely silly about James Bond and vodka. I don’t care. Bond, James Bond is missing the boat on this and it’s not the only thing! So there! Nyeaaaah. Besides, gin is basically vodka but with hints of herbs and juniper – so I suspect that if you approve of vodka you’ll approve of gin.

Having taken a moment to ponder what it would have been like if Frank really could have “sung forever more” it’s now time to stir. That’s right – stir.

You see, gin is considered an “aromatic” and as such it loses some of it’s aroma when chilled too much (somewhere about the neighborhood of 30 degrees Fahrenheit). Shaking chills gin far too fast and far too cold and we need to let the gin have some time to get to know the vermouth but without chilling below that threshold. Stirring is the way to go. Sorry 007… your two mismatched ships also passed in the night. It was never meant to be. Stir for 20 seconds while you enjoy the music.

Okay, It’s at this point, if done correctly, Sammy Davis Jr. looks down from the heavens upon you and little ghosts of bartenders-past swirl around your chilled martini glass. It’s now time to work quickly. You must dump the ice from the glass and place at the bottom a green olive (yes, green, not black, we’re not making a buckeye here we’re paying homage to tradition). You may, however, do a couple of things to your liking at a moment like this. You can add one, two, or three olives (but not four as we’re staying under 3 oz. of total drink here) and you can let a little bit of the brine travel along with the olive/s into the glass. This is a good thing. Yes, Manzanilla pimento-stuffed green olives are perfectly fine.

Now, pour the contents of your chilled Boston shaker (the remains of that 2-count vermouth and 2 1/2 oz. of gin, plus melted ice) that’s had the perfect amount of time to come to temperature into the martini glass with olives at the bottom. You’ve now created the perfect, 38 degree martini.

The ingredients and amounts are tied-in with the method and since we’ve had several stages in preparation we’ve also done some very important things – brought the ingredients to the perfect coldness as well as allowed just the right amount of ice to melt along the way to help marry the ingredients together. No umbrella, only a wooden toothpick is allowed for the olives, if you so desire.

If all went well (and I’m sure it has) you’re beholding your glass about the same time ‘ol blue eyes is singing “I love you” and the moment couldn’t be more perfect.

Comments, questions, duels… all are welcome.

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